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HOLY HEIFER TALES! True Stories From a Wisconsin Dairy Farm

By Alora Lynn


Have you ever wondered what really happens on a dairy farm? Get a glimpse of the mishaps and mayhem in everyday life on a Wisconsin dairy farm, as told by an honest-to-God farm wife. Get to know the guys, dogs and other critters, deer hunters, tractors and, of course, cows and cow patties. Experience the events that happen behind the scenes when the tractor wheels are no longer turning, whether these adventures are in the farmhouse, at the farm itself or away from the farm.





Thank you for a wonderful book. "HOLY HEIFER TALES! True Stories from a Wisconsin Dairy Farm" is like reading Garrison Keillor. Thank you. George W., Indianapolis 

Excerpt From Holy Heifer Tales

Rambler and Shaggy

We didn’t hire Rambler. He just showed up one day and started working. Sunny and Big C, being Rambler’s cousins and a little younger than Rambler, seemed to have accepted Rambler as part of the new generation posse on the farm. Together, they have made things really move and change. Of course, this has not been necessarily what the older generation is accustomed to — in other words, at a slower pace and because “we have always done it this way”, so there has been some adjusting necessary.

For quite some time since Rambler decided to help out here on the farm, there has been this gradual buildup of tension between Rambler and Shaggy. Lucky has been more tolerant than Shaggy, realizing how young guys can be and knowing how to deal with their antics. Besides, as someone once told me, Lucky happens to be “a boy in a man’s body.” So, sometimes he can either fit in with the young guys or even act worse than them. Shaggy, on the other hand, has not been as flexible and open-minded which shows his age. The worst thing anyone can do to Shaggy is get him ruffled because he will just return the favor at a more potent level than what ruffled him in the first place.

Recently, Rambler took to switching the radio station to pop music on the milking parlor radio which he knew Shaggy did not like. Rambler took it even further than the parlor though when he tinkered with the other radios out in the workshop areas scattered on the farm. Rambler knew this irritated Shaggy and he just added this to the arsenal of other tricks he liked to pull on him. It was a game Rambler enjoyed to the point of obsession.

Then, one day Shaggy’s trigger really got tripped, causing him to take some drastic action. No one knows what possessed him to do what he did. Maybe his feet were hurting from the insoles he made from remnants of wallboard used in the new milk-house construction. Whatever it was, it was obvious he was tired of the games played with the radios. Pushed to the limit, he made sure that the ball tossed in his court would not be returned.


Find out what Shaggy did that totally confounded the farm!